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Reader questions answered by the one and only Jack Deadly!

Christmas Bullies

💀 Posted On December 14, 2020
An Ask Jack™ QuestionSent In By Patrick M.

I’ve been trying to be good for Christmas but there is a kid in my class named Derrick that just won’t stop bullying me. What should I do? I don’t want to end up on the naughty list!

   Jack Writes…

Patrick, normally I’d tackle this question but given the season I think it’s appropriate to hand this off to an expert.

   Krampus Writes…

Hello Patrick. Jack has filled me in on your letter and I’m VERY familiar with little Derrick. Rest assured I’ve got plans for him this year and after I’m through with him he won’t be in any shape to bully anyone else.

Who Wins In A Fight To The Death?

💀 Posted On October 19, 2020
An Ask Jack™ QuestionSent In By bigman3d

Who would win in a one on one fight to the death. Pirate vs. Ninja? Superman vs. Batman? and Hank Venture vs. Dean Venture?

   Jack Writes…

Pirate vs. Ninja: The ninja because the pirate would be too busy fighting off his panicked parrot to protect himself. Plus, ninjas have that whole stealth thing going for them. Odds lean slightly in the pirate’s favor if he spots the ninja first and has a cannon loaded.

Superman vs Batman: Superman would win the battle but Batman would ultimately win the eventual injury lawsuit since Bruce Wayne has more money than common sense.

Hank Venture vs Dean Venture: Hank…Dean? I don’t know those kids. Did I kill them somewhere?

A Range Of Options

💀 Posted On October 7, 2020
An Ask Jack™ QuestionSent In By Rain E. Day

What is the age range of your victims? (as in the ages you target the most)

   Jack Writes…

I really don’t care what age they are, I’m an equal opportunity destroyer. Whoever is the stupidest or slowest wins the kill prize. It just so happens that that is often a teenager.

Some of you need to lay off the cupcakes and soda, know what I’m saying?

Halloween Costume Suggestions

💀 Posted On September 17, 2020
An Ask Jack™ QuestionSent In By Big Joe

Got any recommendations on a Halloween costume this year?

   Jack Writes…

I’ve always been about bucking trends and getting the most scare for your buck.
So this year, just go as a person without a mask. It’ll scare the hell out of everyone.

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